100 Reasons I Hate Writing

Tell me about the day your character learned to ride a bike. (Or a dragon, if you write fantasy.)

(Okay, I think we’ve established that I’m a bad blogger.)

I don’t even know why I continue to write.

Oh wait, yes I do.

Life is obnoxious and I like making beta readers squeal. (Tis a passion of mine.)

So yes. One hundred reasons I hate writing. (And for some reason, I still do it…?)

  1. Writing beginnings is like trying to drink broth with a fork.
  2. Sleeping is life but my characters are dying.
  3. Carpal tunnel.
  4. When I sit for so long that I can’t walk right.
  5. My legs aren’t long enough to reach the ground in any chair, so I’m so focused on not falling over that I can’t write. (I think that’s more of a short problem.)
  6. I require coffee to write at all.
  7. One can only drink so much coffee before one’s hands shake so badly they can’t press the keys.
  8. Or focus eyes on screen.
  9. Or sit still.
  10. Internet is fun.
  11. When writing in bed, one cannot position head in comfortable way.
  12. No time to read other books.
  13. Staring at walls instead of actually writing.
  14. Characters cannot develop quick enough.
  15. Ending had already happened in your mind, but it hasn’t been written yet.
  16. Writer’s block.
  17. Back pain.
  18. Neck strain.
  19. Multiple drafts.
  20. Coffee stains teeth. Writer needs coffee.
  21. I own more sweat pants than regular pants.
  22. It’s too hot to drink coffee in the summer, so I have to crank up the air conditioning. (Desperation)
  23. I only want to write when I’m away from my computer.
  24. Netflix has lots of thingsss.
  25. Deadlines accomplish nothing but added stress.
  26. My blinds do not block the sunshine. I must write at night.
  27. Or crammed into the tiny corner of my closet.
  28. Everyone thinks I’m antisocial.
  29. Actually, I’m asocial. Get your terms right, people.
  30. Plot holes are inevitable.
  31. Plotting is gross.
  32. My keyboards get worn out quickly. New keyboards are expensive.
  33. Consistency in my writing is not a thing.
  34. The dang red squiggly lines under my made up towns and words.
  35. Researching.
  36. Spending more time on Google Maps street view than Microsoft Word.
  37. Pinterest. Pinterest Pinterest Pinterest Pin—
  38. I cannot write with music nor can I write without it. (It’s really a problem.)
  39. Focusatwill.com makes me pay money, now.
  40. I am broke.
  41. I made the mistake of telling other people that I write books and now everyone in my school knows.
  42. And asks me about it.
  43. And asks to be in my book.
  44. And asks to read my book.
  45. And asks me to edit their essays.
  46. And do all the writing in the group project.
  47. Plot cannot be solved unless contemporary suddenly becomes sci-fi.
  48. Headaches from staring at the screen.
  49. All of my writing friends are online.
  50. People do not understand that I AM WRITING A NOVEL AND SHOULD NOT BE DISTURBED.
  51. My Google history often includes the words “profuse bleeding”, “guns”, and “brunette girl + blue eyes + freckles”.
  52. I can only write well one out of eight times.
  53. Editing.
  54. Fear of editing.
  55. The after editing stage of “Oh, this actually isn’t so bad.”
  56. BUT IT IS.
  57. Rewrites.
  58. I either have too many ideas or none at all.
  59. Social life is no longer a thing.
  60. Researching dialogue instead of actually talking to other human beings.
  61. Naming characters.
  62. Making characters.
  63. Dealing with characters.
  64. Adding character quirks.
  65. Shipping ships that can’t ship.
  66. Mid-book decisions that change everything.
  67. “Yeah, I’m going to write a book when I’m older.”
  68. “Okay. I have this idea for your book.”
  69. Losing important sticky notes.
  70. Forgetting important character/plot element until end of book.
  71. Fight scenes.
  72. Cute coffee shops are expensive.
  73. If I want to write outside, I have to wear bug spray.
  74. Losing my favorite pens.
  75. Lending favorite pens and never seeing them again.
  76. Book does not seem to fit into a genre.
  77. Book has no significant theme or life lesson.
  78. “Oh my gosh, remember me when you’re famous!”
  79. Non-writers do not understand the writing life.
  80. They think they do.
  81. Writer’s block? Eat.
  82. Staring at wall? Eat.
  83. Standing in general vicinity of fridge while on mental break? Eat.
  84. Writing going well? Eat.
  85. I will never master the art of character death.
  86. People stare when I type fast.
  87. Staring at people when they read my work in front of me.
  88. Busy weeks equal no writing.
  89. Stressing about not writing.
  90. Desk indents on wrists.
  91. Yes, I need this leather-bound notebook.
  92. And matching pen.
  93. It is expensive to print manuscripts.
  94. Querying.
  95. Realizing the book you’re querying is complete trash.
  96. When critique-ers lie.
  97. “What’s your book about?”
  98. I do not know what my book is even about.
  99. Elevator pitches.
  100. Despite everything, continuing to write.

 

*Long, exasperated sigh* I hate writing.

But I’m still going to do it.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND WRITE.

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