This post is different.
The years that have passed since I first got serious about writing have changed me dramatically. Writing has been a huge part of me. Heck, it changed me, too. I wrote five full manuscripts and several unfinished ones. In all, that’s approximately 430,000 words.
I don’t regret those 430,000 words. Sure, some of those drafts were a little cruddy (okay, more than a little), but they were real. And I worked hard on them. They’ve revealed things inside of me that I might’ve never found otherwise.
I’d planned on becoming a full time writer for years. It’s all I’d ever wanted. In fact, it felt like the only thing I could rely on.
Then I went to summer camp, where my earth was shaken. Sure, I’d been to this camp before. I’d experienced God in crazy ways at this camp. However, I’ve always tried to run from what He was telling me. A couple weeks after returning home, we had a conversation that went something like this—
Him: Yeah, you should totally stop writing novels. You’re going crazy.
Me: *pretends to not hear* *starts new novel*
Me: Grrrrreeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wwhhyyyyy.
Him: But I—
Me: But this is the only thing I like! What will I do with my life?
Him: But do you really like it?
Him: Do you really think this is the only thing you can do with writing?
Him: There are so much bigger things than being published.
So yes. This is it. I’m not going to write novels anymore.
Writing slowly became an obsession. Then, as my obsession progressed, I was no longer able to focus on my sole reason for existence.
I AM NOT TRYING TO TELL YOU TO STOP WRITING.
Writing is an incredible thing. Writing is magic. Writing is therapeutic.
I love creating things out of nothing more than prior knowledge of the universe and imagination. I even love writing about my creations. I love the title of “Writer”.
If you love writing, then keep on writing. If it works for you, then keep working.
But don’t let your creations overshadow your Creator.
A week ago, I would’ve never dreamed I’d be doing this or admitting these things. There are so much bigger things than becoming a published author. I can’t base my life on fear of financial instability. I need to base my life on the one thing I can trust.
I’ll probably keep this blog up (since people seem to like it), but I’m putting my writing to a new cause. You can find me at www.knowingthepower.com, where I’ll probably be talking more about this.
Thank you for viewing this blog. Thank you for reading my posts. (Actually no; you were supposed to be writing.) You guys have made my writing life an even more adventurous one.
But I’m ready for the next adventure—whatever that may be.